Hold Onto This

It has been three months since my return from the Land of Smiles, I have forgotten a lot I have to admit. I have lost track of many things that I repeatedly told my brain “hold onto this.” I wanted to pack every sight and feeling that I experienced into a box and live in it even when I was state side. But I think if you’re human, you understand that forgetting things is inevitable and this moment is soon-to-be history.

I think that we so often think about the past and we can live in a constant state of nostalgia. We miss the things in our life that are no more and the people who we will never see again. I fall prey to this so often and I am constantly wishing I could relive moments.

Just like when I sat at a childs feet as my teammate cleaned the swarm of bugs and infection from his ankle. As he let out a shout, grappled my hand with all his might and felt the tears falling from his face I couldn’t help but wonder why I was even there. To hold his hand? To just sit there and watch him?

When I recently recalled it, I remembered the culture in Thailand and its very clear standards when it comes to respect and disrespect in relation to the body. You must refrain from touching the top of anyones head because it’s considered holy as it is the highest place on their body. While the dirtiest, most disgraceful part is your foot. To point your foot at someone is to be highly offensive and disrespectful. With this said, for an adult to sit at and touch his feet simply because they care could make a young boy wonder his worth.

Oswald Chambers once said “The great hindrance in spiritual life is that we will look for big things to do. Jesus took a towel and began to wash the disciples feet.”

This story has no ridiculous outcome that reveals the glory of our King or the heart of our savior. Its simply a moment when I said yes and found myself sitting in the dirt, helpless, as my friend who happens to be a nurse made a kid cry while trying to save his foot. But recently I have come to know that God is looking for people who will say yes to partnering with Him in restoring value to people who believe the lie that they have little to offer this world.

But no worries, I also recall often a time where I miserably failed in this area.

It was our day off and we were in charge of finding our own food so myself and three of my friends walked to a nearby restaurant and on our way there we spotted a woman walking on the empty road. She walked slowly in her 3 inch heels, fidgeting with her mini skirt and small white tank top every few moments. She was completely stumbling into the way of cars, mopeds and any other traffic driving by. They honked her out of the way and continued on.

As we neared her and began to pass, she grabbed Hannah’s arm quickly and when we all turned to look at her; in her eyes we saw absolutely nothing. Strung out, she was far away from reality as we found her in a world where worth is found in her body and help is nowhere to be found. We spent very little time trying to connect on any level, I asked a few times in english if she was ok only to realize that she didn’t comprehend what I said. Then we looked away and kept walking.

I couldn’t help but feel like I had looked Jesus dead in the eye and walked on. Even now I can’t tell you what I would have done differently but I know I regret doing nothing. I regret not doing what my heart kept screaming: “Stop for the one, Juliet”

So this is all about the little things; the things that seem like they have come to nothing but stay etched in my mind as if I were still there. All while the memories I asked myself to remember float somewhere in my head unable to be recalled. I believe we need to stop looking to make an enormous difference in such a lost and dying world and live a life with the intention of restoring people’s value one by one.

Their value exceeds their body, their achievements and their monetary value but instead resides in the throne room of God where He created the innermost parts of us. He has put a price on us that cannot be bought by what this world can bid. If you want to know the immensity by which He loves you, you must ask Him; but remember that some things are so great that He cannot simply tell you but instead He must show you.

With Great Love,


Juliet attended our Fall Children at Risk DTS in 2015 and completed her outreach in Thailand. She is currently home fundraising and preparing to continue her missions journey. To read more from Juliet, subscribe to her blog https://julietlocker.wordpress.com.

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